DJCAD Reflective Research Journal – Week Twenty Three of term but Week One in lockdown

By Monday all face to face teaching had stopped due to the corona virus, with murmurs of the uni closing the following week, but it was all more rapid than that. I stayed at home, from the weekend in Aberdeenshire initially and then when both my kids college and uni in Aberdeen started closing down too, we took a car journey to Dundee via Aberdeen picking up their stuff and mine on the Tuesday and Thursday all ready to self-isolate as a family by Friday.

I have found it extremely hard to focus this week on anything other than the hysteria and panic in the media and much of my creative energy has gone into writing, mostly posts on facebook, questioning the governments recommendations, the figures we are being presented with. But it seems people don’t want to question things, they want to be sheep, they want to be scared and they seem to be reveling in the drama of the situation. I am now thinking that since my research appears to be very controversial and doing it publicly is futile and draining, that it’s time to change tack. Here are some of the articles and videos I have read, watched and posted.

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Before getting so angry about all the scaremongering and panicking, I did manage quite a lot of work on my essay.

I have looked at some of the links that Erica Eyre’s sent me after my tutorial with her, before the uni closed. Like performance artist, Paul McCarthy’s Family Tyranny and Cultural Soup. They are quite disturbing. I see why she thinks it would be helpful for my work, its similarly dark material to my work, but makes me question do I want to make work as disturbing and uncomfortable to watch as this?

Also, Liv Fontaine, contemporary performance artist. Was pretty impressed by her, but wow, don’t have that level of confidence. Will watch more of her performances for inspiration. She’s great with words and delivery, very angry and energetic, uses shock tactic language.

I need to force myself back into channeling my anger and frustration into my creative practice, rather than just arguing with people. I have done a lot of the work for this semester already, finishing my essay and editing my videos are the main work I need to do. Unfortunately this is all computer work which is giving me such a sore neck and back and also we have very limited electricity here (it’s from a few solar panels and a small turbine) and there’s suddenly three of us back home trying to finish course work in a one roomed cabin and in addition, my husband is an artist who sells all his work online, so there is a big demand for the small amount of electricity we have. It was so easy in Dundee! But we’ll mange. We like each other and we are in a better position than many. We can go outside and walk for miles without meeting another soul.

I have ideas beginning to flow now, but a very tiny studio shed to attempt to carry them out in. But I will manage something!


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